Darkness_VS_Light on Xanga

Darkness_VS_Light

Name: A
Country: United States
State: California
Birthday: 5/1/1990
Gender: Female

Interests: Anime, video games, internet, books, manga.
Expertise: Video games, anime, manga.
Occupation: Student
Industry: Other

Message: message me
Website: visit my website
AIM:

Cloud is my guy
MSN: animegrl12@msn.com

Member Since: 3/22/2004

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Monday, July 24, 2006

Currently Listening
A Fever You Can't Sweat Out
By Panic! At The Disco

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- Build God, Then We'll Talk

Random Survey Time.

Your Autobiography:

[[--Part 1:: The Beginning--]]
Were you a planned baby? Yes.
Were you the first? Yes.
Were your parents married when you were born? Yes.
What is your birthdate? ...

[[--Part 2:: The Family--]]
How would you describe your family? In all, very large...Pretty interesting...I love them.
Are your parents married or separated? Married.
If you have siblings are you oldest, middle, or youngest? Oldest.
What are your siblings names? I don't think they'd like me giving that information out.
Which parent do you get along with best? Father, I think.
Do you have step parents? Nope.

[[--Part 3:: The Friends--]]
Do you have more than one best friend? Yes, I suppose. Only one BBB though.
Who are your good best friends? Depends on where...
What do you like to do when you are together? I'm never really with them...=/ I enjoy talking with them...
Do you share the same interests? We all share some interests, yes...
Which friend can you tell anything to? ...Unfortunately that friend does not exist...

[[--Part 4:: Your Personality--]]
How high/low is your self esteem outa 100? I should just put 0, but I'll give myself credit and say, perhaps, 30?
Do you get depressed about things easily? Yes but I've slowly been losing my empathy so eh...Who knows how long that will last.
Are you happy? Yeah, I guess. Sometimes.
Do you live life to the fullest? Nope...I don't think so...

[[--Part 5:: You--]]
Are you comfortable with the way you look? Everything except my oily skin...I need to lose weight though...I think. Must lose the thigh fat...
Do you have any piercings besides your ears? Nope.
How do you dress? Comfortable. If I have to dress nice I will.

[[--Part 6:: The Past--]]
Were you a strange child? Well I hated crowds...Still do...
What did you use to love that you no longer? ...Um...I don't remember...I never remember my childhood... >>
Was there anything in your past that was traumatizing? I don't think so.

[[--Part 7:: The Future--]]
What is your ambition? To be happy and successful.
What is your back up plan? ...Er?
Are you scared of growing old? A bit.
Do you want to get married? Yes.

[[--Part 8:: The Outdoors--]]
Do you prefer indoors or outdoors? Depends...
What is your favorite season? Winter.
Favorite weather? Rain. Storms.
Do you like walking in the rain? Sometimes.

[[--Part 9:: Food--]]
Are you a vegetarian? No.
Fav foods: Meatloaf...um...Bread...Meat...
What food makes you want to gag? OKRA.
What is your favorite dessert? Cheesecake. I think.
What is your favorite restaurant? Chopsticks and...uh...I forgot.
Are you a fussy eater? Yes.

[[--Part 10:: Relationships and Love--]]
Are you single or taken? Taken.
If taken who is the lucky boy/girl? My dearest. My darling. My guardian angel. My little puppy. Hehehe...Too many names for him...
Do you think love is the best feeling in the world? Eh...
Do you believe in love at first sight? *shrugs*
Are you in love right now? Yes...

11:37 PM - 19 views - 6 eprops - 3 comments - email it

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Currently Listening
Stravinsky: The Firebird / Jeu de cartes
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Aetas

Listening to: The Firebird Suite (I forgot my dad had a CD of it...)

Well, that went well. I wrote out a whole giant post and it got deleted because xanga said I wasn't signed in. Whatever. *sighs*

I must apologize once more for not posting in a very long time. Life has been busy, to say the least. I'm not going to promise I'll start doing more here like I have in the past, though, because I know I'd just be kidding myself, and that wouldn't be fair to the few people who read this...So. Onto the actual blog.

Life has been a rollercoaster lately; you know, up and down. I've found that ever since we moved here to...well...Ever since we moved here, I've found that I get depressed much more easily. I don't know what it is...Perhaps it's the fact that I don't really like it here, mostly because of the weather and lack of greenery, or perhaps it's the new house, or school, or friends...I don't know. Whatever it is, I just find myself getting sad much more often.

I've been dealing with a ton of problems lately...Eh...*stops for a moment* A good part of the Suite, hold on...This piece inspires in me so much emotion, just as The Rite of Spring...I love Stravinsky...Alright. Back to the blog. So, yeah. Problems. Most of them are personal...

1. My low self-esteem, rather, my non-existant self-esteem. I don't much like myself sometimes, and the rest of the time I still have low confidence and self-esteem.
2. My parents' obsession with my weight. Seriously, do they think putting me on a diet pill helps me to think better of myself? I know they love me, but honestly...
3. My lack of motivation. I know I should get active, but I can't find it in myself to do so...
4. Whether or not I should go to summer school at a university or save my summer.
5. Controlling my anger when it happens to get loose.
6. Pessimism. I am one of the greatest pessimists I know.

I can't remember what else I put in the deleted post...Oh well...

Hum...I feel I may have two personality disorders that effect those problems...Avoidant Personality Disorder and Dependent Personality Disorder, though I am in no way clingy...I won't go to the lengths of saying I do have those two disorders, because I don't know, but I feel I do...I'd like to see a therapist or something to get a real diagnosis, but I'm afraid to ask my parents, so I don't know what to do...

There's also the matter of my friends here...They're just different. Now, naturally because I moved they're different, but it isn't exactly that I'm talking about. Back at my old house I actually admired my friends. I looked up to them. But here...here it would seem my friends are just amusing people I know. That must seem cruel...I don't know how else to phrase it. I don't mean to make it sound cruel...you all must know what I mean? They just aren't of the quality of my old friends.

How depressing...

Eh, let's try and move away from that. Life isn't without its joys. Even though my friends here aren't the same as my old ones, they're still cool...And all pretty much crazy...Shayla, Candi...um... .__. Don't tell me those are all the friends I have...Hrm...Shayla, Candi, Alex, Keith, Kevin, Peter, Amy, Sean, Brianna...Yeah...I suppose I have a good amount of friends. I have a 21 person fanclub...that counts for something. Shayla is my devout worshiper, and also the most innocent girl I know. She was the first person I made an effort to communicate with, after I saw her in religion class with a manga...She was also my first real friend. As for Candi, she's my "baker", and also completely insane. Which is awesome. I consider her my best friend here. We make awesome funny comics about such things as Fuzzwiggles...Hee...Fuzzwiggle! And we yell random things in chapel, such as..."Soy de Fargo!" "Djibooti Power!" "FUZZWIGGLE!" You get the picture. Candi is one of the only people to be able to make me burst into hysterical laughter.

Awww, Philharmonic season is over...But my audition is coming up May 20th, yay! I love Philharmonic...It's such an honor to play in it! Hopefully we'll get such pieces as The Rite of Spring and Night on Bald Mountain again...at least pieces as good as them. Hopefully we'll get a good new conductor. Hopefully I'll do well on my audition. Here's to hoping. ^.^

Hmmm...What else...I've been drawing a lot. I recently finished a very macabre piece...Most of my friends look at it and say, "What the hell?" But I like it. It's very symbolic, and has the quality of distortion I was aiming for. I also write...Not as much prose as I used to, but poetry. People say I'm very good at it, that I should try to publish...That makes me happy. I do take pride in my poetry skill...Though I might not show it. The compliments I get are so nice...Thank you, everyone.

Something I forgot to add that I'd put in the original post. The best thing, rather, person in my life right now is Erick. *smiles* Erick, you know how I feel. If only we could fast forward time a little. I would thank you for everything you've done, but you've told me before there's no need to thank you, so...I leave it at that. You know how I feel.

I don't know what else to say. If I put anything else in the deleted post, I've forgotten it. I could tell you some upcoming events...I'm going to be starting golf lessons...*shrug* That's about it?

Yep, that's it. If I remember anything else I'll edit this later.

Dear Lord, please help me to overcome the struggles and troubles of my life right now. If it be your will, grant me a measure of your strength and will to stand strong. Please guide me and help me to make choices pleasing to you. All these things and what I leave in my heart, I lift up to you. In your most holy son's name I pray. Amen.

8:46 PM - 4 views - 2 eprops - 1 comment - email it

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

1.WHAT IS YOUR FIRST AND MIDDLE NAME? Alexia Diane...
2.WHAT COLOUR UNDERWEAR ARE YOU WEARING? ...-__-

3.WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO? Christmas in the Silent Forest, sung by Ilaria (sp?) Graziano, arranged by Yoko Kanno.

4. WHAT ARE THE LAST 4 DIGITS OF YOUR PHONE NUMBER? Er...no.

5. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? Corn bread.
6. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOUR WOULD YOU BE? ...Purple? Chinese Violet!

7. HOW IS THE WEATHER RIGHT NOW? Sunny and freezing. Freakin' 59 degrees.
8. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? ...Erick!

9. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX? Face. I think. Or voice.

10. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT YOU THIS? Tiffany is my BBB. ^.^

11. HOW ARE YOU TODAY? Fine. Neutral. Not too emotional. O_o

12. FAVOURITE DRINK? Pineapple juice? Grape juice? Iced tea? I like a lot of drinks.
13. FAVOURITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK? Er...wine?

14. FAVOURITE SPORT? Soccer. Snowboarding. Fencing.
15. HAIR COLOUR? Very dark brown with natrual lighter highlights.
17. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? Nuh-uh.

18. SIBLINGS AND THEIR AGES? Brother 14, sister 12.

21. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED AND WHO WAS IT WITH? ...Um...Bad memory...

22. FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR? Christmas.
23.FAVOURITE RELAXATION SPOT? My room.

24. ARE YOU TOO SHY TO ASK SOMEONE OUT? Yes. >.<

25. FIRST TEENAGE (OR PRE-TEEN) MOVIE STAR CRUSH? ...I don't think I ever had one...
26. SUMMER OR WINTER? Winter.
27. HUGS OR KISSES? Kisses.

28. RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE NIGHT STANDS? Relationships.

29. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA? Chocolate.
30. DO YOU WANT YOUR FRIENDS TO WRITE BACK? Sure?

(# 31 and 32 are about responding, which doesn't make sense in this case)

33. WHO IS THE WIERDEST PERSON YOU KNOW? Everybody I know is weird.

34. WHO IS THE SHYEST PERSON YOU KNOW? Shayla!

35. WHO SMILES THE MOST? Shayla.

36. WHO IS THE FUNNIEST PERSON YOU KNOW? ...I don't laugh much...Erick made me laugh though. =3 Tiffany makes me laugh.

37. WHO IS THE NICEST PERSON YOU KNOW? Uh...Shayla...I think...But then again, everybody has their own little dark sides, soooo...hee.

38. LIVING ARRANGEMENTS? Home.

39. WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING? Desert Solitaire...Still need to finish GetBackers 5 and 6...Um...Yeahhhh. I have about 7 books to read...

40. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? None.

41. FAVOURITE BOARD GAME? Board game? Blagh.
42. WHAT DID YOU DO LAST NIGHT? Homework, RP, draw, post. =P
43. FAVORITE SMELL? ...Orange blossoms...Candles...

44. CAN YOU TOUCH YOUR NOSE WITH YOUR TONGUE? Nah.

45. WHAT INSPIRES YOU? Music, I suppose.

46. PLAIN, BUTTERED OR SALTED POPCORN? Not allowed to have a lot of popcorn, but I like plain...er...actually, salted? I like kettle corn!
47.FAVORITE CAR? SALEEN!
48. FLOWER? Roses and lilies.

49. HOW MANY KEY'S ON YOUR KEYRING? I don't have a keyring.

50. CAN YOU JUGGLE? No idea.

51. FAVORITE DAY OF THE WEEK? Saturday.

52. RED OR WHITE WINE? I like iced and dessert wine...

53. WHAT DID YOU DO FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY? ...A party at my old house...I think it was...Yeah.

54. DO YOU HAVE A DONERS CARD? Nope...

55. LIFE GOAL? To be happy, safe, and healthy, I suppose. Not to be alone!

4:00 PM - 3 views - 6 eprops - 4 comments - email it

Friday, July 08, 2005

	New layout, still trying to fix a few things... >.> Summer is boring... I managed a C in math! =D Ergh...bored... Weird dreams. Very weird. -_- Sorry for not replying in so long!
	10:05 PM - 5 views - 4 eprops - 7 comments - email it

Saturday, May 21, 2005

	lol...for those of you that don't know...Lee group is for school...my English class...and the audition was for the Las Vegas Youth Symphony Orchestra...didn't go too well =/ But I did see Kingdom of Heaven! Excellent movie. ^^ And Jak and Daxter are from video games lol...xD But seriosuly, freaky dream o.o Things going well. ^^
	9:41 PM - 8 views - 2 eprops - 2 comments - email it

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